The First Day of Many: Saylor’s Daycare Journey Begins!

Facing the Hard Decision: Putting Saylor in Daycare for the First Time at 15 Months.

Making the decision to send saylor to daycare for the first time was, without a doubt, one of the hardest choices i’ve ever faced. At 15 months old, she had spent every day with me-her constant companion, her safe place. The thought of handing her over to someone else, even just for a few hours, felt like a weight I couldn’t bear to carry. But there I was, standing at a crossroads: walk away from my job to stay home with her, or to put her in daycare so I could continue working to provide for the two of us.

The truth is, neither option felt easy.

I wasn’t sure how saylor would do with other kids. She’s alway’s been a little shy, a little slow to warm up, and I had no idea how she’d handle being in a new enviroment with unfamiliar faces and routines. Would she feel overwhelmed? Would she cry the whole time? Would she be okay without me there to comfort her? It was hard to picture, and even harder to imagine leaving her in a place that wasn’t home.

And then there was me. I wasn’t sure if I could be okay being away from her 11 hours straight. Eleven hours-half a day, every weekday-without seeing her, without hearing her laugh or watching her play. It was a huge shift, and the thought of it made my heart ache. Every part of me wanted to stay home with her, to keep her close, to keep her in that bubble of safety I had built for us. But reality set in. I had to work to support us. I had to find a way to balance providing for her future while still being there for her in the present.

The guilt was overwhelming. Every time I thought about daycare, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was it selfish to prioritize my career when she needed me more than ever? Would she feel abandoned? Was I really doing what was best for her, or was I just making a decision out of necessity?

But in the end, I realized this was a decision many parents have to make- and there’s no perfect answer. I had to trust that daycare, while not ideal, would offer Saylor new experiences and help her grow in ways I couldn’t provide at home. I also had to trust myself that I could be okay, even if the first few weeks were hard for both of us. The bond we share isn’t something that can be broken by a few hours apart, and I know im doing everything I can to give her the best future possible

Sending Saylor to daycare at 15 months wasn’t a decision I made lightly. It was emotional, overwhelming, and filled with doubt. But it’s the path we’re on now, and im slowly learning to trust in the process- and in the strength of both of us.

Navigating the Challenges of Breastfeeding as a First-Time Mom

As a first-time mom with no prior experience, I found myself caught in the whirlwind of emotions and decisions that come with caring for a newborn. One of the biggest considerations was how to balance the demands of motherhood with my desire to save money and get enough sleep. I thought I was being practical by opting to breastfeed exclusively, thinking it would save me money on formula and time spent preparing bottles. However, I soon realized that this decision would lead to challenges I hadn’t anticipated.

In my eagerness to embrace breastfeeding, I neglected to introduce Saylor to a bottle early on. I believed that by keeping things simple and sticking to breastfeeding, I was doing the best thing for her. But as the weeks turned into months, I found myself regretting that choice. Saylor became so accustomed to nursing that she rejected any attempts I made to introduce a bottle or a pacifier. My nipple became her safe haven, her primary source of comfort, and the means by which she fell asleep each night.

Sharing a room with Saylor has been a double-edged sword. While it allowed us to bond closely, it also meant that I was awakened several times a night—sometimes five, six, or even seven times—just so Saylor could latch back on to my nipple for comfort. This routine became exhausting. I often found myself longing for a few uninterrupted hours of sleep, wishing I had taken the time to establish a more balanced feeding routine.

If I could offer advice to other first-time moms considering breastfeeding, it would be to invest in a high-quality breast pump. This simple tool could have made a world of difference for me. With a good pump, I could have expressed milk and allowed others to help with feedings when I was too exhausted or needed a break. Instead, I inadvertently made myself the sole source of nourishment and comfort for Saylor, which ultimately led to a cycle of dependency that was difficult to break.

Looking back, I wish I had approached breastfeeding with more flexibility. It’s essential to create a feeding plan that allows for support from partners or family members. It’s okay to seek help and take time for yourself as a mother. After all, self-care is crucial for maintaining the energy and mental clarity needed to care for a newborn.

But hey, I remind myself that I am a first-time mom, navigating this beautiful yet challenging journey for the first time. Each day brings new lessons, and though I might have made some mistakes along the way, I am learning and growing alongside my daughter. Ultimately, it’s all part of the adventure of motherhood, and I wouldn’t trade my bond with Saylor for anything in the world.

It All Started With a Baby

Becoming a mother changes you in ways you never expect. For me, it changed everything.

Just over a year ago, I was lost. Homeless, addicted, and making choices I never imagined I would—stealing cars, doing whatever I could to survive. My life was spiraling, and I couldn’t see a way out. Then, I got arrested. Three months in jail in 2023 gave me a lot of time to think, but nothing hit me harder than the moment I found out I was pregnant.

That moment was a wake-up call. My daughter, Saylor, wasn’t even born yet, but she had already saved me. I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was—I had to change, for her and for myself. The road to recovery hasn’t been easy, but every step I take is for her. Every hard day is worth it because I get to be her mom.

Now, Saylor is one year old, and I’m here, sharing my story—not just for myself but for anyone who needs to hear that change is possible. That motherhood, no matter how unexpected, can be a turning point. That no matter where you start, you can build a new life. I’m still learning every day, but if you’re reading this and feeling lost, know that you’re not alone.

Welcome to my journey, my fresh start, and my space to share what I’ve learned. This is just the beginning.